It'll mostlikely be evening/sunset or night

That blurry thing is the person he is talking to, maybe I should move him over a bit more so he is less in-frame?

p.s. that's an elf

If you want it to be foresty you could add some trunks going up past the other trees as well, and if you want it to be evening I would add some red/pink and yellow to the sky

That looks much better, it has a very definite "dense forest" feel now.

Bounce boards are the best plan when you want to do a night shot because then you don't need a third light so you can have a much darker shot using the bounce board just to help those dark spaces from being lit enough to look clean. Another thing to do is get a miniature c-stand or make one yourself and hand the paper or card over it to help bounce the light without it being in the way.

If I didn't see the little car there, I wouldn't have really thought about them being smaller than normal buildings.  I like the building without the sign. The sign looks kind of in the way, and the red roof adds nice color to it, which is covered up by the sign.

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"Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31b

It looks ok, and the forced perspective helps a lot, (and is very well done) but the set still has two main issues.

First, the rocks on the right stick up kinda high, and spoil the illusion that this place is a mountain peak.
A high place, yes. But I feel like if he's standing on the peak, nothing would be higher. If that rock pile was reduced by a brick or two, I feel it would look much better.

Second, the sky is black. Blue skies look more natural than a straight black or gray, and I think a very deep, dark blue would still keep the nighttime/spooky atmosphere, yet give it a more "sky" look, rather than the more alien black expanse it is now.

Including a bit of falling snow would be very appropriate, and would help sell the "Mountain peak" setting.

Thanks for the complement Pritchard.

After you brought up those couple of things I was like, "Of course, that's what's wrong." so I did what you said and I think it looks much better.

So, is there anything else anyone can see that I should change? Does the sky with clouds fit, or would different sky look better?

GEF-

The shot is dark enough where the clouds and mountaintops blur together. Before I read about the clouds I saw mountaintops going back quite a ways or fading off into the distance which, to me, is a desirable effect. Your depth has grown in the second photograph and the world becomes a bit more defined.

I think with the right sound effects like a shrieking wind and rubble falling (from the pile on the left) you'll get around Redbrick's "valley feel." Perhaps there is a way you can cut away a side of the mountain so it doesn't quite reach the edge of the screen to simulate how high up he is.

Good job,
Jared