Topic: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

Here's my new comedy brickfilm, the lottery, based on something that happened to one of my friends family.(except i over-dramatized the gloating...) I also need voice actors for the clerk, TV Announcer, Sebastian, And Sean, so check the Audio section for the full over view. But, without further 'a' do, I give you: THE LOTTERY by KJW

http://pc.celtx.com/project/8wO5aqrV0lt … EqvojZWTHA

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Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

It sounds great! I'd like play the role Sean.

Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

What happened to this?

With all due respect Noodle, I don't want you here. - Ratboy Productions

Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

TheNoodle26 wrote:

What happened to this?

Oh, that, it is still happening, this is just a short one while i wait for some new lego sets i ordered for it to come in the mail. mini/wink

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Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

Oh. Well, I read this one, and I'm a little confused what happens at the end. Other than that, looks good.

With all due respect Noodle, I don't want you here. - Ratboy Productions

Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

TheNoodle26 wrote:

Oh. Well, I read this one, and I'm a little confused what happens at the end. Other than that, looks good.

Oh, you find out that they pranked him, they go to tell him, then he shouts.... really badly..... ya.....

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Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

i liked it! ill be looking forward to it

User formerly known as "LEGO"

Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

It's good.

Just two comments/questions:
- Why does Sean ask if someone is in the men's room if he's at home (there are very rarely people in the men's room in my house without me knowing! (Unless my wife has certain secrets for me...))
- Exactly how do they pull the prank, how did they know what numbers to use on a fake ticket, when did they do it, etc... Maybe you could make the viewer an accomplice in the prank? Or explain using a flashback in the kitchen?

Eitherway, I'd happily record (provided I get my mic to work) any of the voices for you, if you don't object to a rather stupid sounding, deep voice (i.e. mine) and a noticeable foreign accent. Just shoot me an e-mail if you want to take me up on this offer.

-PG

Version 1 of the the screenplay for episode 2 of The Stunt is finishised, and I really, really] await your critique!

Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

I can play as the Gas clerk.....if i can send me a pm

Project Secret
status:buying bricks and sets

Re: "The Lottery" Script. I need feedback.

pizzaboy wrote:

I can play as the Gas clerk.....if i can send me a pm


Gas Clerk is taken....

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