Re: The Screenplay Challenge
Congrats to HoldingOurOwn. He made a great screenplay. I'm excited to see what theme he will pick.
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Congrats to HoldingOurOwn. He made a great screenplay. I'm excited to see what theme he will pick.
I'll be sure to enter the next one! Btw, on the first post, there should be a list of winners with the topic they had.
I also suggested that. Funmi! I think it's a good idea too!
The topic for the next screenplay challenge is BAD ADVICE. Of course, I won't be entering! The deadline will be only 10 days this time: 11:59 PM, Eastern Daylight Time on April 24th, 2015. I think this may get people motivated, as people sometimes wait until the deadline nears, however far away it is! Even at a page a day with 4 days to put ideas together, it shouldn't be too difficult to still meet the deadline. If this presents a problem, I'll allow more time should I judge again. What do you think?
Btw, on the first post, there should be a list of winners with the topic they had.
There is a list. It's been there since the first challenge. I am definitely planning on entering. 
Is anyone showing interest in the current Screenplay challenge????!!
I've been writing an entry.
Here's my entry. I'm not especaily happy with the title. Remember, there's still one day left to enter!
Is One Douglas the Only entry in this contest? I'll hold of until midnight EDT Monday otherwise. Please say today if you intend to submit an entry!
One Douglass, you win by default! It was very good, but there was a bit of lack of clarity in the introduction of the panel of five characters. They should have been introduced before they spoke, as on film they are seen before heard. There were a few other minor details to address but nothing major. Still a very creative take on the topic and a great contender based on storyline!
Thanks for the helpful critique. The new theme is Character Development.
Character Development is a very important part of storytelling IMO, but very often it gets forgotten in brickfilms. The deadline is May 5 2015. I hope more people start entering, there are a lot of talented storytellers on BiM.
Great! Will think of something!
Is anyone planning on entering?
I don't have the time to enter right now, sorry.
Here is mine:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/gx5rnwfc8rjsh … M.odt?dl=0
The winner is...... Funmiproductions! Even though you won by default, your entry was pretty good. It would have had a good chance even with competition.
New theme: Shocking twist
Didn't see that coming
Deadline: May 20th
Aw, Man! I didn't realize that I missed the deadline! Getting my brickfilm ready for release really took me away. I had an outline for CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT but nothing else. I have to read Fumni's story, still, as I love to read all the screenplays here.
SHOCKING TWIST... I like this theme! I'll do what my instincts tell me and start writing early.
Just to make sure that I don't miss another screenwriting challenge, I wrote and am submitting my entry early. This one's a romance with the surprise twist. For the sake of honesty, I want to point out that it exceeds the six page limit by 1/3 of a page. I hope it only detracts from my score and doesn't disqualify me outright. I removed as many lines as I could to get it as short as it is.
-
3 Musketeers
Written by
Michael Tourette
-
INT. NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY - DAY
RODNEY is on a bus, sitting alone, visibly sad. Beside him is a PAPER BAG, with part of a GLAMOR MAGAZINE peeking out. The subway stops. Among the many new passengers is a GOTH GIRL who sits across from him. She looks at the paper bag.
CUT TO Glamor magazine in bag.
GOTH GIRL
Hopeless romantic, yes?
RODNEY
Pardon me?
GOTH GIRL
Reading glamor magazines. Obviously
you're trying to figure out what girls
like, or at least, the insecure ones
who read that kind of thing.
RODNEY
No, uh, no, this isn't for me. It's
for my sister Tamara. Yeah, that's it.
GOTH GIRL
Not buying it. Here's some advice you
won't find in that book. Lonely girls
like 3 Musketeers. If you ever watch
the ads, they gear them toward women.
Like those Oikos ads with John Stamos.
Every girl type has their matching type
of candy.
RODNEY
You seem interesting. Would you like
to go out for a drink?
GOTH GIRL
Sorry. I like Kit Kats.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – DAY
It's the kind of office where you don't know what they do. Among the employees are NEIL and CANDY, and others, the majority female. Enter RODNEY, holding two CLEAR BAGS filled with MANY TYPES OF FUN-SIZED CANDIES, including THREE MUSKETEERS BARS. He raises the bags high.
RODNEY
Candy for everyone!
Everyone looks at Rodney as he sets the bags of candy on a desktop.
NEIL
What's going on, Rodney?
RODNEY
Well, since Candy's being promoted to
supervisor Monday, I thought we should
celebrate. Candy for everyone!
All employees except Neil and Candy cheer and run toward the table.
NEIL
This has nothing to do with your candy
theory, does it?
RODNEY
It's not a theory; it works. Now all
I have to do is find out who takes a
Three Musketeers bar.
Rodney and Neil watch on. One by one, people take candy from the table, unwrap and eat them. No one takes any Three Musketeers. Candy passes Rodney and Neil on the way to the candy table.
CANDY
Thanks for the candy, Rod. That was
so thoughtful of you!
Candy approaches the table, reaches over the candy pile, and hovers around, as if her hand is trying to decide.
RODNEY
The suspense is killing me, Neil.
Finally, Candy picks up a Three Musketeers bar.
NEIL
You're in! I mean, if your theory's
correct. Now you can approach her, then
set me up with your hot sister so I'm
not alone alone.
RODNEY
I told you, Tamara doesn't date. She's
all wrapped up in her career.
Rodney approaches Candy.
RODNEY
Congratulations, again. I see you
picked a Three Muskateers.
CANDY
Yeah? You have a problem with that?
RODNEY
No. Gosh! Why so defensive?
CANDY
(pause.) Oh, Sorry. Just that I hate
the head trip they put you on.
RODNEY
Head trip?
CANDY
Their ads always talk about calories and
they put handsome guys in the ads. It's
like those diet soda commercials. The
people are all in shape on the beach.
They need diet soda? I'd like to see a
little honest advertizing- put some FAT
people drinking diet soda! People
always judge others on what they eat
and I hate that!
RODNEY
No, I didn't mean that. Sorry.
CANDY
No, it's all right. Just venting.
Rodney walks over to Neil.
NEIL
So, you didn't close the deal?
RODNEY
In case you missed it, she just shot down
my whole theory. She's an exception. I
have no confidence talking to her now.
Neil pats Rodney on the back.
NEIL
Well, you can always return to online
chatting like a nerd.
INT. RODNEY'S APARTMENT BEDROOM – NIGHT
RODNEY is seated at his COMPUTER, typing as he speaks.
RODNEY
New channel... numeral 3... Musketeers
INT. COMPUTER SCREEN – NIGHT
The screen is an IRC CHAT ROOM. People type their lines. Rodney's screen name is BOSSMAN. He speaks all BOSSMAN's lines as he types.
Enter LOOKING4GIRLS
LOOKING4GIRLS
Hi. RU a lonely girl?
BOSSMAN
No.
LOOKING4GIRLS
I thought that a room with this name
would be run by one. 2 bad.
Enter, one by one, BIGGUY99, LUVHOTBABEZ, and SWM1.
BIGGUY99
Where are all the girls at?
SWM1
All screen names look like they're
guys'
LUVHOTBABEZ
Age/Sex check
BOSSMAN
WE'RE ALL GUYS!
Enter LONELY1.
LUVHOTBABEZ
So, we're all guys? this is awkward.
I was hoping 2chat up Fran Drescher!
SWM1
YEAH! Fran was in those 3 Musketrs
commercials back then shes hot!
BIGGUY99
That's it. I'm moving to an Oikos
channel to find some girls!
Exit BigGuy99, followed by Lonely1.
CUT TO Rodney
RODNEY
This isn't working out.
CUT TO screen. A window springs up, with the heading LONELY1.
LONELY1
Wanna private chat?
BOSSMAN
OK.
LONELY1
Those other guys R sickos, but U
were the channel founder & U didn't
talk so I wanted 2 give U a chance.
BOSSMAN
Well, I'm lonely too. Just want to
meet someone to talk to.
LONELY1
U can talk 2 me. Would U like to go
out 4 dinner and chat?
BOSSMAN
Well, I had dinner already, but I
like appetizers.
LONELY1
Do you know Pasta La Vista?
BOSSMAN
U mean the Italian/Mexican restaurant
in midtown? I like them.
LONELY1
Yah. Lets meet in the vestibule. How
about in 1 hour?
BOSSMAN
IT'S A DATE!
CUT TO Rodney
He turns off his computer and springs up. He heads to the BATHROOM to prepare.
INT. PASTA LA VISTA – NIGHT
RODNEY is standing in the vestibule. He checks his watch. Enter TAMARA, carrying a PURSE.
TAMARA
Rodney! How've you been?
RODNEY
Great. What's my little sister doing
here?
TAMARA
I'm a big girl, supposedly on a big
date. But he's not here yet and it's
after the time we were going to meet!
He stood me up!
Tamara reaches into her purse, pulls out and unwraps a THREE MUSKETEERS BAR.
RODNEY
Lonely1?
Tamara freezes in place.
TAMARA
You're BossMan? I can't believe this.
I'm dating my brother. I'm so
embarrassed. You know how hard it is
to find someone special in this city?
RODNEY
How about I treat you to dinner anyway,
just as brother and sister.
TAMARA
Well, okay. That would be nice.
The two enter the restaurant.
RODNEY
You know, there's this guy at work
named Neil...
THE END
Here's my entry. I hope you enjoy it.
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