I liked film, a good effort.

The easiest way to improve that I can suggest is to focus on the sound. Did you do the images or audio first? I think most people do the bulk of the audio, do the video, then tweak the audio.

Where you can improve is positioning of the microphone in relation to the actors' mouth. There were several parts where the audio became distorted and blown out because the actor was talking too loudly or too close to the microphone. Placing the microphone to the side will help record clean audio because the burst of air that comes out on hard syllables (like the first "p" in "pop") won't be creating wind noise. And when you know you're going to be recording louder speech (such as yelling) then place the microphone further away.

You've got the basics down pat, good place to start with.

Some of the best audio I've recorded was done just using a mobile phone (cell phone) and sitting in the back seat of a sedan. The seats, angled mirrors and tyres to dampen vibrations make a car an excellent recording studio (unless it's summer, middle of winter, small car, convertible, and so on!). A portable hand held means you'll be able to try recording in wardrobes, offices, mattress forts or any other place you can try out.

Where possible, try and record all the dialogue in the same place, and when recording dialogue remember to record some silence before / after lines so that you have ambient room sound reference material. Your audio program should have a noise removal option which (Audacity does, and it is free) which can help even out sound.

Good luck!