Re: Sudden trouble

2x4 studios wrote:

here is my new script for episode 1
Script

if you have something you think i need in the script of should fix, let me know!

Re: Sudden trouble

i updated the script! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iqN4vR … sp=sharing you will need YouMeScript, I think. mini/confused

Re: Sudden trouble

i want it to have three episodes so  i can finish it on time. and i finished the script! the script < https://drive.google.com/open?id=1iqN4v … iwqc_swl4u

Re: Sudden trouble

Any chance you could save these as a .pdf? As it is, I can't read them and this "YouMeScript" doesn't seem to want to play ball...

Re: Sudden trouble

i will try! and if you want to use youmescript you just need to save it to your google drive, then google YouMeScript.com and open the first url, then find open from drive and find the file.

Re: Sudden trouble

here is a pdf version of my script. The script/pdf

Re: Sudden trouble

2x4 studios wrote:

I am making a new film called sudden trouble!
Here i will post all of the production things!
watch the trailer here! https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jBXE7 … fuUmuTvsyP
mini/smile

Looks interesting. Good luck for the film. Looking forward to it.

Re: Sudden trouble

thanks!

Enswearry wrote:
2x4 studios wrote:

I am making a new film called sudden trouble!
Here i will post all of the production things!
watch the trailer here! https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jBXE7 … fuUmuTvsyP
mini/smile

Looks interesting. Good luck for the film. Looking forward to it.

Re: Sudden trouble

You say this script is finished? Is this just the first episode?

I'm making an assumption here, but I guess the robber wants the 'ultimate emerald' so he can save his wife... If that is the case, I think the story would be better served having the flashback right at the end. Don't let the viewer know that the robber is/was good until the big reveal at the end. He can still look at the painting, but don't let the viewer know why he is feeling emotional.

Show us more of the 'ultimate emerald'. It sounds fairly important, yet it only gets the briefest of mentions.

Consider naming the Robber. It'd make things easier to read. Really, as far as screenplay formatting goes, you shouldn't really put description into parenthesis in the action lines. You should be showing us that the Robber used to be good, not telling us. However, in this instance, I don't think it's too important, as this is only for you to work from. Just worth bearing in mind. mini/smile

Last edited by mad_hatter (February 10, 2020 (09:38am))

Re: Sudden trouble

Looking good so far!

[ AWESOMEPANTS FILMS ]
check out my brickfilm channel!
Ease in, Ease out, and give God the glory!

Re: Sudden trouble

it is part one. And yes! He does want it so  he can save her. That is a good idea to change it that way and i will name the robber. I will think about what you said and i think i will make it better! I want YOU to be my script editor, and just tell me if you want to also! if you want to help me with it just PM me and ill tell you all the details and ill give you a permit to veiw and edit my script. but i cant change to much dialog because i have recorded some voices. thank you SOOO much for the tips!

mad_hatter wrote:

You say this script is finished? Is this just the first episode?

I'm making an assumption here, but I guess the robber wants the 'ultimate emerald' so he can save his wife... If that is the case, I think the story would be better served having the flashback right at the end. Don't let the viewer know that the robber is/was good until the big reveal at the end. He can still look at the painting, but don't let the viewer know why he is feeling emotional.

Show us more of the 'ultimate emerald'. It sounds fairly important, yet it only gets the briefest of mentions.

Consider naming the Robber. It'd make things easier to read. Really, as far as screenplay formatting goes, you shouldn't really put description into parenthesis in the action lines. You should be showing us that the Robber used to be good, not telling us. However, in this instance, I don't think it's too important, as this is only for you to work from. Just worth bearing in mind. mini/smile

Re: Sudden trouble

thanks so much!

AwesomepantsFilms wrote:

Looking good so far!

Re: Sudden trouble

here is a script update <https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dZtgL3 … sp=sharing> the old one dont work

Re: Sudden trouble

I'm always happy to help, but I'm not sure that you really need a script editor, as such. I think you know what your story is, so just keep going with it.

I would advise you to write the whole script first, for all of the episodes, as this will make it easier to see if any story beats could be moved or altered to suit the whole story.

Once you have more written, feel free to let me know and I shall take a look.

Re: Sudden trouble

k