Interesting read.

As far as scripts go, I like it.  Interesting story, some plot twists.  The script is a bit hard to read in places.  That's a combination of it being draft + your writing style but its still understandable.  Better things to do than labour over grammar in a script designed for yourself. 

I think the story is ambitious for a brick film.  Having said that, I haven't seen any of your current previous work so perhaps its entirely reasonable.  I know I simply don't have the bricks to make a film of this type but I sense that won't be a challenge for yourself.

Thanks for sharing. 

This is good to hear.  I flat out asked you some time ago if you did this for your current intergalactic project and you admitted you did not.  I didn't comment at the time but if you scroll back through your old posts you'll see a lot of time wasting due to not having a plan.  You confessed to many reshoots.  But hey - I'm not claiming you didn't have fun doing that! Not dissing they way you do your hobby. 

There were some bits about streets and climbing out of windows and things like that which were clear to you at the time but not to a new reader.  Like - spaceships with windows you can climb out?  Not saying can't be done, but your script has very little detail on the setting - or sets.  After reading on further I deduced that the spaceship was flying along some sort of city-scape "flight lane", which makes perfect sense if you've seen any futuristic movie (including star wars), but that wasn't described at all in the script.  Describing the "street" with traffic moving in all directions in a form of organised chaos makes it clear the reader is about to witness a "car" chase ending in an unexpected collision for the bad guys.    Small things like this will help you crystalise your vision later on.

Anyway - I'm waffling.  I get the script is for you and if it makes sense to you then its all good.  If you want to invest a little more in pre-planning and go collaborative then I'd put more into providing context and scene setting. 

If you wish to email me the celtx then I can touch it up for you.  If you don't like it - just delete it.    I dig that nothing will come of it this year, or even ever, but I'm happy to sink an hour of my boss's work time into this without him knowing. 

Email -removed-.  (<--  Will spy bots detect that and spam it?  )

Email received, edited and sent back. 

Perhaps one day it will become something real.    In the meantime, you should have a few things to think over.

this is the script outline, I'm not really worried about wording while I'm still adding and removing parts of the story, that way I can focus on flow without getting attached to some dialog for a scene I might just remove. This is the first time I've started writing a story without the dialog and the whole proses was very freeing