Topic: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

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Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

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A boy(Zach Macias) is losing faith in his religion.

This short is not intended to be anti-religious. If it offended you, my most sincere apologies, was not my intention.

Last edited by Rockydude411 (April 3, 2015 (08:08pm))

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

Some of the dollys in this were great although I probably wouldn't have added quite so many of them in such a quiet scene; it can give a false sense of action. I also enjoyed the concept. It felt unique and I like the way it's trying to tackle some quite deep subjects in a period of just 20 seconds.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

Thanks Isaac!

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

A very realistic entry if I am honest. I know many people who were losing faith in the Catholic Church/Christianity, and this was easily shown by the questioning of their religion.
Enough of what I said, I found the positioning of the camera angles and shots to be interesting. A very good entry!

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

Thanks!

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

It's definitely an interesting take on the subject material, I don't think I've ever seen an entry that takes this particular stance.  I like that you managed to address doubting (which is certainly an important part of everyone's life, regardless of religious affiliation) in a mature and honest manner.

However, I felt you tried to pack in way too much in too little time.  The film feels very rushed and choppy, and just ends in the middle of nowhere.  There's a good beginning and middle, but no resolution, and no time to establish an ambiguous ending.  Also, the speaking doesn't sound very natural, as the characters are just speaking non-stop and there are no pauses.  I understand that it's not easy to avoid, given the constraints of this contest, but it still sounds off.

The animation quality is a bit rough (though not the worst), and the cinematography and editing could use some improvement.  You have a lot of pans, zooms, and dollies packed into just 20 seconds of footage.  I like the opening shot, but the rest is feels way too excessive, especially since there is no cinematic reason to have the camera move in shots like these.  It's actually counter-productive since the film feels very fast-moving cinematography-wise (which would be more suited to, say, an action scene or heated argument), which is at odds with the subject matter.  It would be much better to use still shots to create a sombre, "dead" feeling, which is what I assume you're aiming for.  In addition, we never see how the characters are positioned in relation to each other, so the cuts feel choppy and awkward.  I would suggest adding at least one wide shot where we see both the mother and son standing in the same frame to help the audience work out the geography of the scene.

Hope this feedback helps!  Sorry if I went a bit overboard with the detail.

Last edited by Mr Vertigo (April 4, 2015 (07:48am))

Retribution (3rd place in BRAWL 2015)

&Smeagol      make the most of being surrounded by single, educated women your own age on a regular basis in college
AquaMorph    I dunno women are expensive

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

Thanks Mr. Vertigo, I'll be sure to take all your advice into consideration for my next film. I agree with you that it feels rushed, but there was nothing I could do about that.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

When I first read your script, I was really impressed by the way it treated its subject matter respectfully, and didn't offer any easy solution to the central conflict.

I think the potential is there, but it feels like too much trying to be packed into a 20 second time limit. A script like this needs to be able to pause and breathe between bits of dialogue - the way its stitched together now is far too rushed and cuts off most of the drama at the knees. It doesn't come across as natural, especially given the darkness of the material at hand.

Again, though, I think there's a lot of potential to be had in your script. I'd be interested in seeing a re-cut (or perhaps an entirely new pass) of this film without without the 20 second time limit bogging it down.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

That's what I was planning on doing, MindGame. mini/smile Thanks for your input.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

A very unique Easter film, Rockydude. I don't see it as anti-religious at all, a lot of people struggle with faith, and I like how you tackled such a subject in a brickfilm.

As the others mentioned, the animation was a bit rough, but I did like the pan shots. They didn't work the best in this setting, but I congratulate you for trying them. Pans and dollys are so hard to pull off. I'd also like to say how great MindGame and Dewfilms were at voice acting, they put a lot of feeling into the dialogue.

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"Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31b

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

Thanks Rio, and yeah I agree with you, MindGame and Dewfilms were great in this.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

I really can't add much that hasn't already been said.

You have some nice pans and things, but they move way too quickly, and it cuts from shot to shot in a much too hasty fashion. It had was a nice set up, but no real resolution or conclusion. I think the subject matter would have been better saved for a longer, more detailed and informative film. But as it is, you're one of the few to try a serious and deep subject with an EASTER film, and I appreciate the thought and effort that went into this.

The light streaming in the open window looked fantastic, though the rest of the set was on the basic side of things.
And other than that, there ain't much to say.

I'm not offended one bit by the film, people doubt all the time, and I felt that it did try to end on a positive note, though one that seemed a bit empty since it wasn't elaborated on or explained. God has given us hope through his Word and the Lord Jesus Christ, and from my perspective on things, it seemed like it may have went that way had it had a longer runtime. Even if it wasn't going that way, you showed the subject much respect, and presented it in a mature and thoughtful manner. It wasn't offensive, and I'm sure the other Christians on here would say the same.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

Thanks Pritchard for you feedback. I understand that the run time kinda ruined the film, I'm planning on making a full film for this. Good to know that people aren't getting offended, however, it was not really meant to end on a positive note.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

I think I have to agree with everyone else here - had this been a longer film it would feel more polished, but as it is it was a bit rushed, no doubt because of the time limit.

I'm not sure I completely agree with Pritchard since it wasn't intended to end positively, but as it is it does, which doesn't offend me at all.

Re: Sunday (An entry to EASTER 2015)

Thanks for the feedback, Mighty.