Ouch, I'm sorry, but I really let you down with those voices. Jim sounded a lot better in my head.
As much as you were trying to convey "bad habits die hard" I don't think that
Spoiler (highlight to read)shooting a guy is a "bad habit." More like a criminal action. Also, no police or anything bothered to show up?
While the bar idea is good, I think the extreme that it ended up was pushing things a bit too far, and thus, it may have lost some of it's relevancy to the lives of "normal people."
It's too bad you had to cut one of the characters, as the missing man's role would have helped fill the temptation to go into the bar scene in better. However, I do like the green color correction at the bar, great touch!
I think the THAC pressure may have gotten to you, as it does all of us. The idea behind the film is a good one. I really do like it. But ambition and limited time and resources don't mix well, and as for my part, I feel my voice acting certainly didn't help things. I'm sorry.